When we set out just over a month ago, we had vague notions of how and where we were going to sleep. Chief among these was the often bandied about phrase – wild camping. Having put down a tarp and struck up a tent over most of Western Europe, we thought we’d address the questions that we had about it, and share our top tips on getting away with it.
Go on then – what is it?
As the name suggests, this is no game for four poster bed enthusiasts. Wild camping is what happens any time you put down your tent outside of a campsite, and without permission. This means that it is both VERY cheeky and INCREDIBLY cheap, which is a devilish combination to our particular tastes.
Hang on – is it…Illegal?
Well….It’s not strictly speaking by the book in most corners of Europe. This is mostly because some people take liberties, leave a mess and move on leaving someone else to clean up, which is frankly shameful. If you’re going in for camping wild, you should be able to leave your spot without a trace of your having been there, other than a small patch of flattened grass. As a practice, it is largely frowned upon by authorities and quite often landowners, which only means a little more nowse and sneakiness is involved when picking a spot. If however you’re one for a fully legal night’s repose, undaunted by the possibility of a tap on the tent, we would suggest booking yourselves into a campsite.
What’s wrong with campsites?
Oh – where do we start? Most of Europe will see two people and a tent lay down a €20 note for one night and get maybe a handful of cents in return. These cents will most likely be frittered away in the shower blocks where campsite head honchos often make you pay €0.50 cents for a shower limited to 5 minutes. When living off a bike and getting quite dirty, this sort of showering regime seems a bit disingenuous.
Furthermore, some campsites we’ve frequented neglected to even supply toilet roll or soap. Couple this with the occasional charges for a flimsy Wifi signal, and even a cost implication for plugging in a phone, the €20 cover charge seems purely to provide you with a 2 meter square patch of ant infested gravel upon which to count sheep until sunrise. The processional 6 am flip flop march of the campers to the toilets putting pave to a luxurious night of tently reverie, it’s really hard to know what you’re paying for.
That said – The relative comfort of a running tap, space to spread out, and the security of having people around can be a real luxury when you’ve been off the grid for a while.
So – What makes a good wild camping spot?
Okay – like the most brilliant of formulas, there are many facets to picking a good spot, and by all means, we’re no masters of this genre. That said, here are some things that we’ve picked up along the way.
Go to bed late and get up early…
If you love nothing more than a lazy mid-morning alarm call or prefer to be sipping cocoa with your best slippers on by 8pm, it’s time you got yourself a camper van.
As the early bird catches the worm, if you’re gone before Monsieur Le Fermier is up, you can be sure that he won’t ride his tractor up to your tent and ask what’s going on (day 3 of our trip), which certainly is a moment equal in squirminess to that proverbial worm. Getting up early and at least getting the tent down can make a huge difference. If you’re sipping on coffee and munching a biscuit having packed up early, there’s no proof of you having slept there, and on a number of occasions we’ve been able to make out that we had simply stopped for breakfast, and that our hair is always this unkempt….
When rolling out your tent, you should probably look to get it all up in the magic hour between 10pm and 11pm – pretty much when darkness becomes a pal. Before this time, dog walkers, evening joggers and tourists may well take note of your presence, so, if you find a spot that you like, why not just get out your stove and cook dinner before doing the tent? After all – two people over a gas stove is a lot less intimidating than what’s going on in that tent you can’t see…
Find flat land
To experienced campers, this is a given. It is not however, the easiest thing to do in practice. When you hit a mountain range, even a moderate slope gets built upon, leaving you that 20% wooded slope upon which to get your repose…When flat land is a challenge, look for rivers, lakes and farms, as to a certain extent, these will always provide at least a little more level terrain, preventing you slipping skeleton bob style into the mesh netting at the base of your tent.
Buggy lands are bad lands
Getting back to nature we are all for. Getting nature in your pants and filter coffee, we can probably give a miss. Beware of staying near still water, boggy land or in dense forests, for here lurk mosquitoes, ants and slugs. If they don’t find a way into your tent, they’re sure to get you during your set up or packing. Well – maybe not the slugs, but, you may want to make sure that those backpacks and panniers are fully shut, because if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that slug finds a way.
Have everything you need…
Okay – this sounds as rudimentary as it gets, but, going wild means no water supply, no electricity, and, potentially, no support in the event that things go wrong, which is unlikely, but, you know. Make sure you have your pots and pans to cook dinner with, and bring enough water not just for drinking, but for cooking and even washing with – you’ll be thankful of it.
Get on that Satellite view!
If you’re feeling like tramping it up for a night, scouting for a spot via a satellite view is a great way of working out where might offer some good cover. Helping you pick spots outside of towns and giving you a better understanding of a spot’s situation, clever use of an aerial view can make sure that you pick somewhere properly secluded, away from public footpaths and any awkward interactions.
Friday night? Get out of sight…
On a long trip, it’s easy to get out of the rhythm of weeks and days. Needless to say though that come Friday and Saturday, you’re probably going to have to stay up just that extra bit longer. Some spots that might be hang outs for the local young people are going to get visited, so, if you find somewhere where there’s clearly been a bonfire and a bit of bottle opening, you may want to reconsider. If you’re there on a Monday night though, well, you’ll probably be fine.
Weather forecasts
It goes without saying that camping in the wild means confronting all the elements. From rainstorms that last for days to thunderstorms that play games, your camping spot needs to be secure and safe from whatever happens whilst you’re asleep. This in mind, that lonesome mountain top camp might be idyllic, but I’d check out the weather before pegging out, because when weather changes quickly, you’re not going to be able to get out of there in a hurry.
Finding shelter in some shape
From the wind, from sight, from inclement weather, shelter serves many functions. Hunkering down behind piles of wood, you can make sure that no body sees your little camping lights in the castle across the field. Find yourself a nice divot and you can be just about obscured when just meters from the road. Don’t fancy your chances in constant rain? Hedge your bets and get under a bridge – if there’s an extra arch and you’re not at a risk from flash flooding, a little cover can save you from packing a sopping wet tent or killing too much time trying to dry it off.
Campfires stoke ire
It’s nice having a fire and all, but in some places, you need to respect the fact that your cosy evening watching embers can lead to a scrub land blaze. Also, asides from the big exclamation mark warning that forest fires ain’t funny, it actually shows you up pretty quickly, which is sort of not the point at all.
Know when to settle
So, you’re scoping out spots, and there are a lot of nearly and maybe places about. None of them are perfect, and, you’d rather not stay at any you’ve seen. Is there something better just up the road? Probably. Crucially though, if your weather forecast is all rain and storms and it’s already getting dark, stick with a spot and get that tent up before the skies open. You DO NOT want to be stood at 11pm in the rain wondering how you’re going to stay dry whilst putting up a tent in the wet. Make that decision sooner rather than later and be sat in your tent when the rain starts – even if it is under a bridge next to a motorway (last week).
Take everything with you
As we’ve made it pretty clear, one of the biggest reasons wild camping isn’t strictly allowed is that some people take liberties, leave a mess and generally leave things worse than when they found them. This is a real shame, and something that most happy, chirpy and responsible wild campers have to battle against. Take your things with you and you’ll leave no lasting impact on the place that gave you a free bed for the night.
Got that?
Cool! Well, now you’ve only got to go and give it a try…We’d recommend just looking for spots in your surrounding area before actually giving it a crack. The more accustomed you are to looking for a simple secluded spot, the more often you’ll start seeing them…
Best of luck!
